It’s 2:00 a.m. and I’ve been tossing and turning for the past 20 minutes. I stumble out into the living room and turn on the t.v. for some comfort, but the only thing coming up on the guide is infomercials and a documentary on streakers.
I choose what I think to be the less of two evils, but it turns out the nudie-mentary is actually a man sifting through cow excrement that is somehow related to e-coli. Just when I think it couldn’t get any worse, the cameraman brings up an inhumane image of a cow being shoved around by a tractor.
I can’t help but think of those three packs of ground beef I bought this afternoon.
My boyfriend and I have been fighting a lot lately, which is why I am out here, watching bizarre late-night shows on television.
We’re not fighting about anything in particular, just life in general. We’re growing up, and it’s not as fun as we thought it would be. Graduation is less than two months away, and our thoughts are drifting toward our inevitable future.
I thought we’d have it figured out by now. Turns out we’re just a couple of kids being thrust into the real world, desperately clinging on to each other with all we’ve got. And so, when we can’t direct our inner frustration at anything else, we turn on each other.
After six and a half years of dating, we’ve managed to find each other’s soft spots, and have no reservations when it comes to using that to our advantage during an argument. We raise our voices and come up with clever snide comments, and it feels good to think we’ve won. But at the end of the day, all we’ve done is hurt each other.
Everything seems simpler as I’m sitting out here on my couch, the blue glow of the television casting familiar shadows across the room. I shuffle into the kitchen in search of munchies, coming out with a plastic container of cookies I made earlier this week. I remember being in a similar rut when I made them. They made me feel good that time, so I figured I’d give them a shot.
The powdered sugar sticks to my lips, but the rich cocoa melts in my mouth, tasting just as good as the night I made them. I take a big gulp of cold, white milk, brush my teeth for the second time tonight, and head to bed.
Hopefully things will be better in the morning.
large mixing bowl
medium mixing bowl
wire cooling racks
2 cups sugar
3/4 cup vegetable oil
1 cup cocoa powder
2 teaspoons vanilla
2 1/3 cups flour
2 teaspoons baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup icing sugar
In medium mixing bowl, mix together flour, baking powder and salt. Gradually add to cocoa mixture, beating well.
Cover bowl with plastic wrap and refrigerate for at least six hours.
When ready to bake, preheat oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Grease cookie sheet. Shape dough into one-inch balls and roll in icing sugar until coated. Place on cookie sheet at least two inches apart.
Bake for 10 minutes. Cool in pan for at least 10 minutes before transferring to wire cooling rack.